Cornell (0-0) at Colgate (0-3), 1 p.m. Maine (1-2) at Merrimack (1-2), 1 p.m. Utah St. (1-2) at Temple (0-3), 2 p.m. Yale (0-0) at Holy Cross (1-2), 2 p.m.
This is a satire piece from the CU Independent’s opinion section. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes ...